SHOPPING CONT.

Hello!!!

It’s friggin’ 30 something degrees here (haha I heard it’s around 14 back home!!) and even sitting inside- I’m sweating.

Anyway- haven’t updated this for a few days so here I go!

Continuing from last post (Saturday).

1:03 pm Phuket time

My feet are sore (I have been walking around for the whole day). I think I should try this fish spa thing…

1:16 pm Phuket time

“you light up my world like nobody …” what the hell are they playing One Direction in Asia for? Don’t they have anyone better?

1:26 pm Phuket time

OMG! That was a bad idea. Fish eating the dead skin off your feet is an experience- just not a pleasant one! This is infinitely the most disgusting thing I’ve done in my whole life! It feels like pins and needles X1000000000000!!!!

1:27pm Phuket time

Well… I ticked my feet being eaten by hundreds of evil fish off my bucket list. Never have to do that again.

4:29 pm Phuket time

Sex on the beach.

Cocktail or reality???

Now don’t freak out. I’m not pregnant (or at least I hope not… elliott?). so it all began when me and mum decided to go to the beach for a massage… (with a happy ending?)

So we found these two ladies, Dim and Ya, but I knew something was up when they pulled the curtains around the massage beds. I washed my feet and lay face down on the towel to find my dress being pulled up from bottom. She got my dress off then flipped me onto my stomach again to suddenly undo the top of my bikini. I was like “whatever. She probably knows what she’s doing”, so I just lay there. Then her hands started working on me and I was thinking “mmm… that feels nice… yeah my shoulders are sore… mmm … what the hell are you doing to my head? Why are you scratching it?”. Then her hands slid down my body and suddenly she has me gripped between her legs (you know- like mounting me?). “ummm… ok… that feels nice (she was stroking my back- a weakness of mine. Tickle or stroke my back softly for a while and you can get me to just about anything for you) … WOAH! WOAH! WOAH! That’s my arse lady…. Why are you kneading… nope, now you’re squeezing it... ARGHHH!!! No… no… stay away from … ok… now you’re pushing me… this feels awkward (I was being pushed up and down the bed- like groping it) … yep that’s my arse again… ok! Sorry but the inside of my leg is off limits (mostly)… WOAH!! You’re going way higher than necessary… that’s not my arse…. arFGHHHHH!!! That’s my vagina. Could you please refrain from stroking it?”

So yeah. That’s why you shouldn’t go for massages from two suspicious looking, 50-60 year old, fat ladies on a beach in Phuket. Sex on the beach isn’t just a cocktail (excuse the pun)

5:00 pm Phuket time

So we walked back to the hotel (after my ordeal), had a rest, got dressed and went down to foyer to wait for Kut (taxi driver remember?)

5:11pm Phuket time

Only in Thailand would the police pull up a helmet-less scooterer but wave through a ute with 6 people in the tray!

6:02 pm Phuket time

OMG! These markets are huge (the night markets in Phuket town)!!!! I’m so excited!

8:16 pm Phuket time

WOAH!! Tired now. 2 hours of pure bargain shopping heaven- not that mum or dad thought so. Together they bought 3 things and I ended up with 10!! Also- there is so much stuff here- if you guys want anything in particular- please tell me!! If you don’t you may end up with something of my choosing… (be scared- very scared).

That’s all for Saturday!!

Miss you guys xxx